Gray Colloquium: When Humor Crosses the Line

Seoyeon Kim ‘26

Photo of Melvin Adams presenting for Gray Colloquium

Melvin Adams' visit to St. Mark’s left a lasting impression—but not always for the right reasons. While his upbeat energy and message about small acts of kindness resonated with some, his racially and sexually charged jokes came off as offensive and inappropriate for a school-wide audience.

One primary example of his offhanded racial jokes included when Adams referred to one of our student leaders, as "dark chocolate.” Adams proceeded to bring the leader on stage simply because, as Adams stated, this student is Black. Another statement had sexist undertones when he repeatedly told the girls not to think about their "hips and thighs," which ironically draws attention to the very things he claimed we shouldn’t focus on. This reaction is a classic example of ironic process theory—the more we try to suppress certain thoughts, the more prominent they become. Meanwhile, the message for the boys was simply about kindness and dreams. The stark contrast was unsettling, to say the least.

The subtly offensive comments didn’t stop there. In a class visit, he compared a student to Kim Kardashian, based on her hair and skin color—a comparison loaded with problematic implications given Kardashian’s sexualized media presence. He also made an insensitive joke to a student of Korean descent by saying "Saranghaeyo kimchi." Although that student didn’t seem deeply offended, the comment reinforces casual stereotypes that shouldn’t be normalized in a diverse community like ours.

What frustrates me most is that many students brushed off these remarks as harmless jokes. But humor like this, especially in a required school event, has a way of subtly reinforcing biases about race and gender. As one teacher pointed out, they'd likely be fired if a faculty member had made those same comments.

These ingrained stereotypes and microaggressions are the very issues we aim to diminish at St. Mark’s, and we should not passively accept such language. I do not intend to diminish those who enjoyed his humor, but rather, to encourage all of us to think more deeply about the messages we absorb, even when they seem harmless. We are taught to be conscious of what influences us and what tries to persuade us, whether with intention or without. We must be awake, walk the world with a critical lens, and challenge the ideas that don’t align with the values we uphold. Adams may not have intended harm, but intention doesn’t erase impact. St. Mark’s deserves speakers who can inspire all students—without resorting to offensive humor.